I was inspired to write this piece yesterday after a beautiful reflexology session with a dear sister of mine. As I reflected on what we talked about “Surrender to your own practice” stood out and kept ringing in my ear.
Yesterday I also went to receive my own healing from another. Something I struggle to do. I know how deep the healing can go. I know how far some can see and I have struggled to find the person that can do that. That can journey deep within and deliver the messages in a way that resonates with my beliefs and sight. No more though, I have found her.
Now, after my personal session I feel tired a little vulnerable. As my cardinal sits at my window helping me to feel at ease. A little validation that what I’m feeling is true. Much needed validation.
You see these writings I write. I write because I need to hear them. They are my intentions, my hopes, my dreams, my sorrow, my pain and my anger. I am not perfect I have so many flaws. I write to be heard, I write to be seen. I write to let another soul know that they are not alone. That its ok to be pissed, hurt, over excited and ungrounded. I write in hopes to find my way and I write hoping that you find yours.
When I close my close and sing and you allow me to go within and see the visions I see. That’s all you. The visions, the places you take me are not from this world its magic. Even the dark visions are magic. The hard truths that unfold are magic.
That’s where I am left today. I have hidden and lied because I was afraid. I was afraid of myself and all the lives I have lived. I was afraid of my truth.
I have not loved myself, I said I did in hopes that I would find love for her and all her darkness. You can’t love something or someone you refuse to look at. I can’t blame the boogie man, I can’t blame an old flame, an old friend and I cant blame the moon.
It’s all me, It’s all me. Hurt, broken, angry and scared me trying to get my attention. Starving for me to look her in the eyes and love every dark bit of her.